68: 5 Questions Not to Ask a Missionary (with Kara Delaney)

The questions we ask can make a big difference in the conversations we have. Want some ideas for starting a conversation with a missionary? Kara Delaney, a missionary in Germany, talks through some of the questions that she has been asked as a missionary and how to build bridges in conversations.

• Article by Kara Delaney
• “My hope is to be part of a discussion that can start to bridge the gap between missionaries and the people sending them.”
• How’s (your country)?
• What would you like to know?
• “We’re all looking for connection, and I want to tell you, but I don’t even know where to start.”
• Can you say something in (the local language)?
• “Asking a [missionary] kid to perform isn’t creating a safe or appropriate environment, especially as they’re engaging with other adults.”
• “Language learning is really difficult. Everybody on the field has varying levels of fluency or lack thereof.”
• How much (language) do you speak?
• Aren’t you so glad to be home?
• “There’s a bit of superimposing an emotion on someone’s experience, and that can be really confusing to receive.”
• “It really honors a person’s experience when we take the time to hear what’s actually going on and give space for what’s happening on the inside, which may not only be glad to be home.”
• How was your trip?
• How are things going with your ministry? What was this last month like for you?
• “I sometimes feel nervous about posting because I’m putting expectations on myself or feeling pressure to post about ministry or post my missionary life as a way of proving myself, that I’m actually ‘doing missions’ all the time.”
• “I’m just a normal person, and sometimes I go get coffee with friends.”
• How long do you think you’re going to stay there?
• “This can make me feel like my life overseas is a phase that has an expiration date instead of allowing space for this [to be] a career.”
• “The answer that I’ve found that I feel most comfortable with most of the time is ‘however long the Lord has me here,’ which can sound like a cop-out, but I think it really is the most honest because I’m committed to doing what He has called me to for however long He has called me to do it wherever He calls me to do it.”
• “If I want to have real connections with others, I want to be extending the same things outward, too… I really believe that it’s worth working towards.”

What’s changing our lives:

• Keane: Microwaving then heating on stove
• Heather: 12-Week Year
• Kara: Savoring the time before transitioning

Weekly Spotlight: Ukarumpa International School

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