Cultivating a Culture of Courage

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:21[1]

There are few places in the Bible where parents are told specifically what to do or not do with their children. Colossians 3:21 is one of those. This small verse is at the center of helping children grow and become what God intends.

“Lose heart” is to lose courage, to give up, to not try. Why does Paul single out this one danger for children in Colossians?

Aristotle said that “Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.” It is rather simple: if we are to be kind, to learn well, to love, or to practice any other virtue we must have the courage to do so. What keeps people from doing what they know is good? What keeps people from following Jesus? Lack of courage.

The people of Israel did not go into the Promised Land the first time because of their fear. Some of the spies said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us” (Numbers 13:31).[2] Caleb encouraged the nation to go in the Land and to receive the best God had for them.  Moses, Aaron, and Joshua joined in, saying, “The Lord is with us, do not fear them” (Numbers 14:9).

But because of their fear, it was the following generation that went into the Land, and Joshua led them after he was told three times to be “strong and courageous.” Courage was needed.

When a child is afraid to try, he or she will not learn. At its essence, teaching and learning depends on the learner trying, recognizing that there is something to learn, and stepping into the learning process to make that knowledge a part of them. If a child is afraid to try, learning and becoming what God intends does not happen.

How do we create a culture of courage, to lay the foundation for all of learning and growing and living out the good things God has for us to do…even if they are risky and frightening? How do we create a culture of trying? Here are some ideas:

One, help students have faith in God. The fear of trying is real, but knowing an awesome and personal God through Jesus helps a student trust Him when going into hard things. Trusting God and others who have our best interest at heart makes courageous action less frightening.

Second, be an example. A teacher who is being transformed is used to facilitate transformation in students. Be a living example of courage, in word and action. Be willing to show your faith to try, to risk, and to learn. If you are teaching a class of students, you are already showing courage. What is your next step that takes courage?

Third, start small. At one school I led, we had a transfer student, Marie, who came in grade nine. Marie had never had physical education and was afraid to catch a ball. While other students were learning to throw basketballs a long distance, we had someone toss back and forth to Marie from a meter away. She had success in this little step, and the distance increased. Her fear of getting hurt and looking foolish diminished. Two years later, Marie was playing basketball on the team. She needed courage to overcome her fear and become what she could in this area. Whether it is learning Mathematics, playing ball, or loving the unlovely, begin with what the student knows and can do. Give them hope with small success, and they will learn to take bigger steps of courage, by God’s grace.

Fourth, help learners love. Show them agapao love, a biblical love that does what is best for the other person regardless of what is given back. When students love, when they are committed to something or someone outside themselves, courage follows. We love because He first loved us.[3] Help them know that and love likewise.

Fifth, help them be “strong.” When Joshua was told three times to have courage, be “strong” came first each time. It is easier to have courage if you are strong. A soccer player will be afraid to go into a hard game if he or she has not been practicing. Knowing you have strength and skill helps have courage. This is what we get to do as teachers. We help learners become strong mentally, physically, socially, spiritually, and emotionally. As we help them learn, we are helping them develop strength to more easily live out a value of courage. Then they can be strong and courageous.

Sixth, help children manage risk. Three of my children were whitewater river guides. There was always risk of injury or death, but they learned to “manage risk,” to thoughtfully know what could be done and how, and to avoid situations that were more dangerous. Teaching your learners that fears and risks are real, but that not all dangers are the same, will help them manage learning and living. Help them know the difference between small risks that are worth it and other risks that they should not try.

Seventh, help learners have convictions that are important to God. Not just knowing things, but beliefs that are strong enough that he or she will act on them no matter the odds. What convictions do we have?

What do we not do? Go back to Colossians 3:21. How do parents, or teachers, “exasperate” children so that they give up, lose courage to try? Let me mention a few things to not do: comparing to others, having unrealistic expectations or inconsistent rules and discipline, embarrassing them. What else? What do you need to avoid?

So much of creating a culture of courage starts with trust. When Israel didn’t go into the Promised Land it was a matter of trust, specifically their lack of trust in God. They saw it was good but were afraid of the large people. As you look at every situation and lesson through the eyes of learners who are facing challenges and fears to them, show them what it looks like to trust in the Living God Who will never let them down or leave them. Give them faith, hope, and love—the building blocks for courage.

Joe Neff
Joe serves TeachBeyond as Global Director of Educational Services and School Services. He has helped lead schools for thirty-six years mostly in three Christian schools in the States and in a school in Southeast Asia. He loves to see students and educators become all God intends.